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This is episode 4 of the Fixing Separation Anxiety Podcast.

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Hello and welcome to the Be Right Back Separation Anxiety Podcast.

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Hi, I'm Julie Naismith, dog trainer, author, and full-on separation anxiety geek.

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I've helped thousands of dogs overcome separation anxiety with my books,

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my online programs, my trainer certification, and my Separation Anxiety Training App.

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And this podcast is all about sharing my tips and tricks to help you

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teach your dog how to be happy at home alone too.

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Welcome to another episode of the Fixing Separation Anxiety Podcast.

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I'm your host, Julie Naismith, and this week we're talking about tackling the cause,

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not the symptoms of separation anxiety. Now, if you're like most owners who are going through

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separation anxiety, I'm going to guess that you're at your wit's end, either because your dog's

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barking or he's howling all day, maybe he's destroying everything in your house, or maybe

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he's going around your home soiling and you're coming back to little presents everywhere.

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Unless you've been through it, I don't think you can understand how tough separation anxiety is.

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Separation anxiety is so tough on everyone. It's tough on you, it's tough on your dog,

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and I think unless you've been through separation anxiety, sometimes it's really

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hard to explain to people, isn't it, just how awful it can feel. You just want to scream,

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somebody please, please make it stop. You want the destruction to end. You just want him to stop

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barking, quit the howling, and don't you just want to look at him sometimes and say, I am coming

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back. I always come back. Like I say, unless you've been through it, it can be really hard

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to understand just how desperate it can feel to be dealing with separation anxiety.

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And of course, usually your immediate concern as a pet parent is, I have to stop these behaviours

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because this is affecting all of our lives. Maybe you've had neighbours complain, or maybe your

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house is getting so destroyed you've almost given up repairing it because every time you do,

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he destroys something else. Maybe you're just so sick of your carpets being covered.

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Yeah, you do need to make it stop. But as you're probably finding out, the challenge with separation

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anxiety is that the behaviours, all those unwanted things, unwanted behaviours that the dog does,

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they are caused by your dog's panic. So he's not really intentional. He's not getting up one day

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and saying, I'm going to bark all day because I'm having fun, or I do it for kicks. I do this

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destruction because, hey, why not? Remember that he's freaking out. He's got a phobia to being left

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and he's terrified. So he's not being bad. He's not being mad at you just because he destroyed

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your carpet doesn't mean to say he's angry with you because you left. He's freaking out.

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But we're usually looking for solutions to the symptoms, those symptoms that I described of

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barking or destroying or soiling or whatever it might be. When we Google, when we ask trainers,

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usually we're trying to find a solution to those symptoms. But let me give you an analogy,

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a medical analogy. So imagine you've got occasional back pain. You might take a painkiller. If it was

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bad enough and say you only got it once every few weeks or few months, you might take a painkiller

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and the painkiller would work. But if you had severe back pain every single day, it was preventing

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you from doing stuff. I'm going to guess that you would soon decide to get to the root of the problem

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and not just take the painkillers. You'd take the painkillers too, but you'd say, no, this cannot

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continue. I need to find out what's causing the back pain. And so it's the same with a behavior

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condition like separation anxiety. You might be able to stop those symptoms, might, you might

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in the short term. But in the long term, the stick a bandage on it, stick a bandage on it

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approach doesn't work. If you've Googled, how can I stop my dog barking or destroying or whatever,

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you'll have seen a range of solutions. And unfortunately, most of them don't work and

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some can actually make the condition worse. So I want to focus on what does work. You'll always

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hear me talk about that whenever I'm holding any of my mini training sessions or when I do my

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challenges, I'm always talking about, let's focus on what works and ditch the stuff that doesn't.

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Okay, so let's talk about barking. Again, if we Google the advice on barking, we're going to find

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a ton of terrible information. The worst advice that I see, and I see it a lot is to use a bark

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collar. These are designed to stop barking by giving your dog a shock. Now you will read that

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the dogs only get a static shock, you know, just like when you put clothes on that kind of static

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shock, but it's not true. That's just really slick marketing. Don't cross with yourself if

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you've been drawn in by that because they are clever and the companies who manufacture these

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things don't want you to think that your dog's being hurt. But unfortunately, that's what's

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happening. These shock collars work by hurting your dog. They create pain and they then scare

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your dog into stopping and they only work. They only change behavior because they hurt.

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They don't hurt, they don't work. So you've got a dog who's barking at home, he's got a bark

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collar on and he's getting electric shock every time he barks. Guess what he thinks about being

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home alone now? He's going to think this is even worse than it was before. His fear of being alone

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just got quadrupled because when he's home alone, not only is he petrified because you're not there,

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he's now being shocked painfully. Might suppress the bark. You may see some short-term behavior

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change. He might decide that the way to stop the shock is to stop the barking,

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but he still wants to bark. He needs to bark. In his head, the panic that's caused by separation

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anxiety makes him want to bark away. With a lot of dogs, they will bark through the pain,

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which is a horrible thought. So now they're in a panic and they're creating this painful shock.

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And when his collar is not on, he definitely will want to bark and he's more than likely going to

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bark when his collar isn't on. So shock collars are just not going to work for this. And even

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if they did work, we don't need to train dogs with pain and force and fear anymore because there

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are far better ways. Shock collars are banned in many countries for a reason. Hopefully they'll

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be banned in way more sooner rather than later. But we don't need them. We don't need them to

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train. There's way better ways. Okay, so let's give shock collars a wide berth when it comes to barking.

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With destruction, there's two big things, two solutions that I see that are inhumane and

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unhelpful. First one is using anything that's bitter and that the dog really, really just finds

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disgusting. So again, it's a bit like the shock collar. They only work because they're so unpleasant,

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these sprays, that the dog will do what they can to try and avoid them. But I'm sorry, this is a

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horrible analogy, so I hope you're not eating breakfast. But this is like, to a dog, this is

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like you putting vomit on your food to lose weight. You just wouldn't do it, would you?

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But yet we would do it to our dogs. And then the other horrible thing, just like with shock collars,

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dogs can go through the disgust. They can go through the pain. They don't stop feeling it,

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but they're so driven by their panic that they'll just keep going. So they'll keep tasting this

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disgusting spray. They'll keep going despite the fact that it tastes disgusting because the panic

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is driving them. In an indestructible crate is another response I see to destruction. And I

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totally get it. If your house is being destroyed, what else are you going to do? You can't keep

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coming back to walls that are disappearing, to carpets that are shredded. I totally get it. And

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also your dog is getting harmed. Dogs who are in a panic can be extremely difficult to contain.

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They are not thinking. They are pumped on adrenaline. They are desperate, desperate to

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get closer to you. So those dogs who are destroying are desperately trying to get away from the panic

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of being on their own and try and find you for comfort. So an indestructible crate doesn't take

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away that panic. I talked about this in episode three. Dogs in a panic can be extremely difficult

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to contain. They are pumped on adrenaline. They are doing everything they can to escape the

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terrifying situation that they are in. They're not thinking. And so the things that happen as a

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result, crates that you thought were indestructible get destroyed, or if the crate stays intact,

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even worse. The dog's nails or teeth or the damage that can be done by indestructible crates is

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really scary and saddening. If you're really struggling to stop the destruction, get your dog

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out of a crate and try confinement space. That's a space that's bigger than the crate. You'd use

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an X-pen or you'd use extended baby gates. See if he does better then. Or use a dog-proof room.

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That means a room where there's no stuff really. You're not worried about anything in there that

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he might destroy and you're not going to be worried about him destroying himself in there

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either. So it's safe for him and it's stuff you're not worried about him destroying. Even things like

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confinement spaces and dog-proof rooms, I'm still really hesitant to recommend them because they're

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still just focused on symptoms. They're not looking at how to fix your dog's anxiety, which as we know

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is the only way to stop him wanting to do these things. So what can you do? I've ruled out a ton

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of things that don't work and things that I really advise you not to consider. So what can you do?

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Well, there are two biggies. Number one, you're going to train him to be happy home alone. You're

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going to do that by getting him used to being alone very gradually and safely. So we use a

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process called desensitization. That's where we work out how long your dog can cope with on his

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own without getting into a panic. Now, when you first set out, that could be seconds. But whatever

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that is, we work with that duration and we gradually increase that but at a rate your dog is comfortable

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with. So each time we go through the exercise, we're checking in on the dog. How's he doing? Is

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he okay with this? Is there any sign of panic? And if there's no panic and there's no anxiety, we

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progress to the next step. Desensitization is the training method that we use to gradually get your

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dog comfortable on his own. But while you're doing that, so the second thing that you do is you have

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to find a way not to leave him. This can be one of the most difficult things that most owners ever

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have to do. It just seems nonsensical. If your dog's got separation anxiety, it wouldn't be an

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issue. It wouldn't be a problem condition if you didn't need to leave him at times. So when you

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first set out with separation anxiety training, it just seems ridiculous that anybody would ask you

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not to leave your dog. But do give it a shot. Even just try leaving him a little bit less than you

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currently do because you'll start to see the benefits. And training is so, so difficult,

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if not impossible, if you don't suspend absences. Remember, the great thing about suspending

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absences, about not leaving him anymore, is you just knock the anxiety on the head.

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And so all those anxiety-driven problems immediately go away. So while it can seem

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like a crazy, nonsensical, ridiculous solution, it will fix the distraction and the barking

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immediately. Something to think about. If you still think that there's absolutely no way that

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you can find someone to be with your dog or have your dog be with someone 24-7, then there's maybe

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a couple more options you could try when you do have to leave your dog. First off, I'd suggest

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you go to your vet. So go and speak to your vet about whether you can get some medications that

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would be short-acting, so you give them to your dog when you did have to leave. And that would

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help reduce your dog's anxiety in that moment and lessen the chance that they're going to hurt

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themselves or bark or have a terrible experience. So medications, short-term medications, can be

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really helpful for those times when you just can't figure out a way not to leave him. Slight caveat

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here that doesn't work for all dogs. So some dogs will still be so panicked that it doesn't matter

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what medication you put them on, they're still going to have a freak out. But do consider talking

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to your vet about this as an option. It's worth a try. And we're not talking about you using this

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every single day for eight hours a day. We're talking about medications that are situational.

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So you have something you absolutely have to do on Saturday afternoon and you cannot find cover,

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so you plan ahead and you use these short-acting medications. While you're at the vet, I would

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strongly suggest you talk about putting your dog on daily anxiety medications. These are something

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your dog would be on for the duration of his training. They help with his anxiety threshold.

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They help him be a bit less anxious in situations where he would normally have just completely

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freaked out. So they really can be game changers for separation anxiety. So if you haven't talked

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to your vet about medications, I really recommend that you do it. I know it's not what everybody

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wants to do for whatever reason. We think there's some stigma attached. We think that we shouldn't

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be putting dogs on medication. We think we failed as owners. But let me tell you, medication saves

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lives. It saves dogs lives because they really, really can be a massively powerful addition to

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the training protocol. The other thing you could do if you're desperate and you just can't find

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anybody to have your dog for an afternoon or whatever the thing is that you need to leave them

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for, you could consider including a cue which would distinguish between when they're having

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safe training absences. So you would need to be in training mode. You need to be training your dog

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the rest of the time. So you're going to introduce a cue which says, this is training, this is safe,

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and this is fine, and I'm really sorry but this is going to be scary and this is going to be horrible.

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So that might be when you go out and you know it's going to be really bad. You just say,

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I'm really sorry, this one's not going to be good, and you say the words every time you go out and

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you know he's going to have a bad time. So that he starts to learn really quickly. There's times

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when it's going to be bad and there's times when it's going to be safe. Training is going to be

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safe because it's going to be short durations that he can handle. Sometimes you're going to

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have to go out and leave him and it's going to be horrible. Now it doesn't work for all dogs,

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but some dogs will be able to distinguish between safe absences that you do during training

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and the scary ones where you have to leave him longer than he can cope with.

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For those dogs where this distinction works, the training isn't affected by the scary absences.

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The problem is you don't know until you try it and if you're training and you're trying to protect

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your training progress and then you have to leave your dog, you won't know until you've done it

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whether it's going to affect his training. Here it just comes back to do whatever you can not to

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leave him because it's going to be in the long run, it will make your training go quicker and

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it will tackle those symptoms way better than any of the short-term fixes that you might have found.

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Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the Be Right Back

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Separation Anxiety podcast. If you want to find out more about how I can help you further,

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head over to julienaysmith.com. Meanwhile, if you enjoyed listening today, I would love it if

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you would head over to wherever you listen to your podcasts and consider rating my show.

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Thanks so much, good luck with that training and bye for now.