this week we're talking all about the stuff your dog does when it's not left alone.
See the thing is we spend so much time looking at our dogs when we're doing the training when
we're doing separation anxiety training that we don't spend enough time looking at them
when they are doing quote normal stuff you see my air quotes here and that causes a problem because
if we only ever study our dog's body language our dog's behavior intently when we're doing
separation anxiety training we don't know what's normal for our dogs and that's why this week
i'm going to tell you exactly what you need to be looking for when to look for it
and how that can help you with your absence training
Hello and welcome to the Be Right Back separation anxiety podcast hi i'm Julie Naismith dog trainer
author and full-on separation anxiety geek i've helped thousands of dogs overcome separation
anxiety with my books my online programs my trainer certification and my separation anxiety
training app and this podcast is all about sharing my tips and tricks to help you teach your dog how
to be happy at home alone too. I want to start by telling you the story of Gemma and Gumbo, Bo.
Bo is an absolutely stunning weaseler he's a rock star when it comes to separation anxiety
training and he can now easily handle four to five hours like i said an absolute rock star
like i said an absolute rock star i remember in the early stages of working with Gemma or maybe
when Gumbo was getting to say an hour or so he would get up move around and cause Gemma a ton
of concern what's amazing about Gumbo is even though he's a really active young weaseler he is
incredibly chill these days when Gemma leaves him so he gets onto the sofa he curls up he's even
been known to and this is so cute he's even been known to tuck under a blanket kind of get the
blanket to go over him amazing when he does it so he's a pretty chill dog now when Gemma leaves him
but in those early stages of training he even though he was really relaxed Gemma did feel
really uncomfortable when he moved well why is that because she was expecting him to stay still
to stay on the sofa to chill out because that's what he did when she started training with him
he responded beautifully and he would chill on the sofa but when a dog like Gumbo has been asleep for
an hour two hours three hours they're going to get up and move that's what they're going to do and
Gemma would get in touch with me and say hey can you have a look at this video because that's how
we do it when we're doing separation anxiety training we're working with clients we'll look
at video that they sent hey can you have a look at this video seems like Bow got up and turned
around I'm just not sure my response Gemma that's just normal it's just that we don't ever spend our
time looking at what normal dogs do when we leave or even the rest of the time we might be watching
them when we go to the park with them because we're concerned about how they are around other
dogs we want to make sure that they're okay maybe when they go to the vets we want to make sure that
they're supremely comfortable we might be watching the body language for signs of stress but for the
most part we are not as obsessed about their body language their behaviors and their tails as we are
when we're doing training and that's why when they do stuff sometimes we're scratching our heads and
going uh is that normal is it okay is that anxiety I don't know that's why I want you to become an
absolute expert in everything your dog does all its little habits it's the way it carries itself
the way it moves all of that stuff I want you to become that expert I say all the time to my
clients I don't need you to be an expert in separation anxiety I mean the truth is that
most people as they work through separation anxiety training get pretty proficient in separation
anxiety but I don't need you to be an expert in separation anxiety what I do need you to be though
is an expert in your own dog okay so when you're not obsessing about your dog during absences
I want you to start looking for certain things and how are you going to do that get a notebook
get a journal or if you like working online open up a spreadsheet you're going to start recording
what you see and when you see it that if this might seem like it's a bit over the top oh my
goodness she's got us training she's got us doing the departure exercises and now she wants us to
report what our dogs are doing the rest of the time the thing is if you record stuff it's just
for you just for you it really does help it seems like a bit of a pain at the time it's extra work
but there's no substitute for kind of flicking back through stuff and seeing oh yeah she seems
to do this whenever oh look he's got a habit of doing that and you can forget it's easy to forget
this stuff so writing it down really helps and here's what I want you to look for first of all
you're going to be making notes on the intensity of the behavior what do I mean by that well you
know no thick tail wagging are we seeing kind of a gentle wag or we're seeing kind of a really
full-on wag if we're talking about say a grooming behavior is it pretty chill or is it pretty full
on so intensity matters dogs who are anxious and stressed even if they're employing what we might
consider to be a normal behavior often the behavior is more intense when they're stressed
and panicky makes sense right I'm sure you can think of times when you felt nervous you just do
things with more because you've got stress you feel tense and behavior tends to get more intense
when we've got that response coursing through our bodies so you're going to think about the
intensity of what you see then I want you to think about context I'm going to come on in a
second to talk about things like yawning and lip licking because they're often held up as signs of
your dog being anxious but behavior is not in isolation it never happens in isolation it always
happens in a context and just noting down the behavior isn't always enough we need to know
in what context did that happen what else was going on what happened before and what happened
afterwards so context is crucial so let's go back to tail wagging it does your dog wag its tail
ferociously when you get the treat tin out does your dog wag its tail when it seems a bit uncertain
when it meets a new dog at the dog park does your dog wag its tail when it seems kind of really
conflicted at the vet clinic hates the vet clinic loves the vets hates the vet clinic loves the vets
so context matters but always always describe the context in which the behavior that you're noting
down happens and then I want you to think about what did I see overall what did I see so if you
saw a tail wag what else was going on did you see movement shifts in the body how was your dog
carrying itself did your dog look stiff did your dog look chilled so you want to think about overall
body language it's really important when we're looking at the communication signals that dogs
send us that we don't just look at one thing dogs have got a lot going on in their bodies
if we're only looking at ears or if we're only looking at tails we're not making use of the full
communication the dog is sending our way so overall body language matters just as much as
individual signs so those are three I'm going to call them parameters so those are my three
parameters you're always going to be thinking as you look at a behavior what was the intensity
what was the context and what was the overall body language now I'm going to get you to dig down
into specifics and these are the categories that you're going to look for first of all we've got
vocalizing some dogs are just noisier than others I swear that my dog Percy has a sound for everything
like everything everything in his life there seems to be a sound every emotion is accompanied by a
sound other dogs my other dog Tex super quiet some dogs just are very vocal so if your dog is
vocal let's go back to the three parameters intensity context overall body language what
else can you see are they really intense barkers and if so in what context do they do that what
about whining do they whine a lot does it is that accompanied by body language do they shift their
weight when they sit and they whine what are you seeing when they whine so think about vocalizing
you've got barking whimpering whining you've got howling different types of barks you've got
loud barks you've got little kind of almost in the chest barks what vocalizing does your dog do
and in which context does it vocalize and what else can you see when your dog barks or whines
or cries or howls what else is going on with their body language and by the way if you check
the show notes you'll find a worksheet in there a link to a worksheet that has all three parameters
and then all the categories that I'm going through now in a table that you can use for that all
important record keeping that I mentioned the next category is movement now we don't expect
dogs to be still to be statuesque when we do separation anxiety training some dogs are just
more still than others though again this is all about knowing what's normal for your dog
so does your dog run around the house is it that kind of dog or is your dog much more of an
ambler you know just kind of plods around the house even when something exciting is happening
which of those two describes your dog what does your dog do when it moves around normally does it
spend much time being still or have you got a dog that's always fidgeting what about sleeping
does she stay in one spot or is she always moving around in her bed maybe she might be one of those
dogs that's always looking for a new spot so what is normal for her when she sleeps
get to know what movement is normal and expected for your dog when she's not anxious and when
she's not going through separation anxiety training which by the way she shouldn't be
anxious when she's going through separation anxiety training because she's always under
threshold but she is focused and she is in training so there's always going to be a little
bit of tension as she thinks or she tries to problem solve but not anxious that's the key
when we're doing sub-threshold training the next category is greeting now back in the day we used
to think that a dog who air quotes excessively greeted you when you came back automatically
had separation anxiety in other words that greeting in and of itself was a sign if your
dog was being excessive that your dog had separation anxiety however now we know what's
more important is what is excessive for your dog some dogs are just exuberant creatures
they love people so much they're excitable dogs and they just greet people with so much enthusiasm
that they look excited and overexcited when you compare them to other dogs but it might be normal
for them now my check on this is you want to look at your dog greeting not just when you come back
through the door after a training exercise but what about when your dog comes through the door
so say somebody takes your dog out and brings your dog back your dog hasn't been alone but it's just
probably really pleased to see you so how does it greet you in that context what about when it
wakes up in the morning not been stressed out she's not been anxious she's been asleep but how
does she greet you what about when people come to your house when people your dog either knows
or she doesn't know how does she greet them so you've got to think about how does she greet people
when she hasn't been alone that is going to give you the baseline that tells you oh this is how she
greets people this is what she does maybe she's a really chilled out greeter that kind of just goes
oh hi or maybe she is a bouncy crazy excitable greeter now let's look at the next category and
this one is a big one we're going to look at what are often described as displacement behaviors
and displacement behaviors are just things that your dog does that are normal behaviors but they
do them in the wrong context they they do the behavior that would be normal in a certain
context they do it in a abnormal context I also think you can think of these as fidgeting behaviors
let me describe to you what we call displacement behaviors typically they include yawning
lip-licking scratching and then kind of grooming or sometimes another one can be play so if you
find your dog yawning when she's not sleepy you might assume that that is a displacement behavior
so get really forensic with this one start looking for times when she yawns but you can include when
she's sleepy here so when does she yawn does she yawn at times when she's not sleepy what's going
on when she does that similarly with lip-licking people get very very tense when they see a dog
lip-licking they automatically assume that that dog is stressed and it's not the case
context is everything here if you start watching your dog today outside of training activities
outside of separation anxiety training I guarantee you you will see your dog licking her lips
frequently throughout the day now obviously there is the food response but there's also
a response to things that are pleasant sometimes dogs lick their lips when nice stuff is about to
happen or they anticipate nice stuff sometimes they just lift their licks because maybe they
were hot and they were panting maybe they just had something on their mouth as simple as that
so let's not get too stressed out when we see a dog lip-licking because it's not always immediately
the case that that is an absolute sign of anxiety also with these displacement behaviors and that's
why I like the term fidget rather than displacement they can be a sign that the dog is releasing
stress absolutely a shake-off is a classic example of that a shake-off typically means that the dog
is transferring or moving from one emotional state to another so it doesn't necessarily mean I feel
really really frightened here I feel stressed out it just means okay it's almost like they're
shaking off the emotion that they just went through so yeah it's a sign that something
kind of intense happened but that doesn't necessarily mean that your dog is anxious
or frightened when they shake off same with stretching stretching some dogs will stretch
with a yawn out of context when they're not sleepy but they're not they're not stressed
they're not upset they're kind of you know like sometimes we will just do a stretch
yeah sometimes we're just releasing a tiny bit of stress we're not anxious we're just kind of
you know that's why I like fidget as a word I think it's a way more appropriate word displacement
is useful because it kind of tells us this thing that the behavior happened in the wrong context
but you know a fidgeting behavior is is absolutely appropriate potentially if there's stuff going on
that the dog is reacting to but it doesn't necessarily mean they are anxious so really
pay attention to these displacement or fidget behaviors and look at them happening outside of
training and outside of potentially upsetting contexts you'll see them way more often because
now you are starting to observe and be forensic about it okay another category is panting so
panting can absolutely happen when a dog is worried anxious frightened absolutely it can
but dogs do pant when they're hot and it can happen that they might be doing a training exercise
and feel hot so we really need to know the difference typically when they're stressed out
when they're anxious and panting you'll see that the end of their tongue changes it kind of gets
flattened out it's almost like you're looking at a wooden spoon or a spatula but when a dog is hot
it gets stressed right because dogs don't have the most efficient cooling system and so being hot
for a dog is very stressful getting dehydrated if you're a dog can be fatal so dogs can get
stressed when they're hot too so sometimes you'll see a hot dog stress panting they're cooling down
but it's also oh i feel really yeah you know when you just feel like oh my goodness this is just
i need to get out of here i'm too hot this is horrid so sometimes you'll see a dog that's hot
who's also stressing about being hot but your dog will have signs of yeah this is what it does when
it's hot or this is what it does when it stresses out so get really focused on your dog's panting
if you've got a fluffy dog chances are she's going to pant more than a short-haired dog because
a fluffy haired long-haired dog living in our environment our homes which are way too hot for
most dogs they will pant a lot of the time remember dogs tend to like things cooler than we do not all
dogs sometimes crazily will lie in the sun although have you noticed they'll go and lie in the sun get
completely overheated and then come in and look like they're really stressed out and do that
stressy panting so don't be surprised if your dog does pant a lot don't be surprised if your dog
pants during absences but start to notice is there a difference in that panting during an absence
versus the panting when they are hot and then the next category is everything that's going on in the
face the face the head we get an awful lot of information from what goes on with our dog's faces
their ears their mouth their eyes and their muzzle and different dogs carry their ears differently
different dogs will do different things with their eyes so it's really hard to say when a dog does
this with its eyes that's a stressed out dog when a dog moves its ears like this this is definitely
a happy dog you need to start learning what your dog does with all of its features its ears and
the rest of its face when it's stressed and anxious versus when it's just communicating in
a normal context so list those things out study them see what your dog does are there any
differences in different contexts that's what you're looking for are there any differences in
different contexts then we have tail carriage we tend to get a bit obsessed with tails i know there's
a fantastic quote from ian dunbar who says tails can really confuse us he says i am way more
interested in what's going on at the front end of the dog i totally agree tails can mean very
different things again in very different contexts and some dogs have a higher tail carriage than
others some dogs are more likely to have a low tail carriage i know with my two cockapoos indian
percy very very similar body shapes very similar but their tail carriage when in neutral is
completely different india's is always lower than percy's same in when they're excited india's is
always lower than percy's so learn what's normal for your dog learn what they do when they're more
likely to be stressed and anxious what do they do with their tail then what do they do with their
tail the rest of the time and then added to all of these categories is just knowing your dog's
overall body language understanding when they go into fearful mode which is more likely to look like
cowering making themselves smaller than it is to be that ebullient relaxed body language
that we see in happy playful dogs i know this sounds like a lot and you don't have to spend
every waking minute looking at your dog but take a few minutes a day that's all
just say hey i'm at my laptop now i'm going to open the worksheet i'm just going to watch my
dog for a few minutes or do it as and when so if you see your dog doing something that looks
interesting ah never seen her do that with her ears before oh there was a weird sound outside
she kind of she rotated her ears backwards i'm going to note that down so don't feel like you
have to make this a full-time job either carve out a few minutes a day just to look at your dog
or do it ad hoc when you see something interesting note it down very quickly you're going to get a
catalogue of all of these different things with the context with the intensity and with an idea
of the overall body language you are going to get so good at understanding the communication that
your dog gives you not just in training but all the other time and that is what's going to tell
you is this normal for my dog so that the next time you're watching your dog during an absence
and you're wondering about the behavior or the body language or the noise you can say ah i know
she does this okay she moves around a lot when she's sleeping i've noticed that when i'm with her
so she just got up and moved that's fine oh okay know what's normal it's going to be a game changer
for your training so did you notice i just gave you full license to obsess about your dog even
more than you currently do yay that's got to be a good outcome right so the next time somebody
finds you totally fixated on your dog you can just tell them i'm doing my separation anxiety training
homework i've got license to do this all right that's it from me this week thank you so much for
tuning in i really do appreciate it i know you've got a ton of options when it comes to podcasts
so it means a lot that you took the time to listen to mine and hey if you like the podcast i'd love it
if you could rate and review it wherever you listen remember that if you rate the podcast even
if you don't review it if you rate the podcast it's going to help other people who have a dog
with separation as i define the podcast and they're going to get help too all right good
luck with the training and i'll catch you all soon bye for now thank you so much for listening to
this episode of the be right back separation anxiety podcast if you want to find out more
about how i can help you further head over to julie naismith.com meanwhile if you enjoyed
listening today i would love it if you would head over to wherever you listen to your podcast
and consider rating my show thanks so much good luck with that training and bye for now