Why You Didn't Actually Cause Your Dog's Separation Anxiety...And What Did

This is episode two of the Fixing Separation Anxiety podcast.

Welcome to the Fixing Separation Anxiety podcast,

where it's all about healing your dog,

regaining your freedom, and getting your life back on track.

Now, here's your host, Julie Naismith.

Well, hello there, and welcome to

the second episode of the Separation Anxiety podcast.

I'm your host, Julie Naismith.

In today's episode,

we're going to be talking about a question that comes up all the time.

Tell me if you haven't heard this one.

Did you cause your dog separation anxiety?

Now, be honest.

Have you been told that?

Have you thought it?

I bet you have.

Because if you haven't heard that and if you haven't thought that,

you're just about the only separation anxiety pet parent

I've ever come across who hasn't thought that.

But I'm here today to tell you your dog separation anxiety is not down to you.

So it's time to stop feeling guilty and start taking action.

But where does all this stuff come from?

This notion that we as separation anxiety pet parents are

causing this issue in our dog is definitely not backed by any strong evidence.

There's no strong research which says,

yes, it's absolutely something you as an owner do.

Also, if you've ever had or if you've currently got a non-anxious dog,

do you do anything different with a non-anxious dog?

I bet you don't.

I bet the stuff you do like letting that dog,

the non-anxious dog sleep on the bed,

isn't causing your dog to freak out when you leave.

It's just something about those separation anxiety dogs.

So time to forgive yourself and let go of this notion that it's all your fault.

The thing is with separation anxiety,

most of the time the answer to what caused it is,

well, nobody really knows.

A big part of it could well be genetic.

We don't have the research on that yet.

I hope one day we will.

And there's certainly leaders in the field of

veterinary behavior science who think that

there's a genetic component to separation anxiety.

One day, hopefully, there will be research into

the genes that may or may not cause this.

But my gut tells me there probably is a genetic component.

Why do I say that? I don't always like going on gut when there's research that can help us.

And as most of you know,

I'm big into evidence and science-based dog training.

But here's why I think there could be a big genetic component.

First off, we know that with things like stranger fear and noise phobia,

noise phobia in particular has a known genetic component.

And with things like stranger fear, well, dogs,

guarding dogs, herding dogs, dogs who are there to protect us,

are often bred selectively to be wary of strangers.

So we know there's a genetic component there.

So why not separation anxiety?

If we can see all of these things popping up as a result of genetics,

why couldn't it be possible that separation anxiety

is also something that is caused by genetics?

Also, remember that we have over the years bred dogs to be friendly towards us,

notwithstanding the guarding dogs who we like to breed for standoffishness.

But for the most part, domesticated dogs are bred to be friendly towards us.

So there's a genetic component too.

So I'm sure one day some research will crop up which says there is almost no doubt

that part of the cause of separation anxiety is something that happens way,

way, way back in the dog's genes.

Another thing that makes me think, could this be genetic,

is the number of young dogs to be prone to it.

So if separation anxiety is just all about life experience,

why are we seeing so many young dogs who clearly are exhibiting signs of discomfort,

fear, panic at being left alone?

So in my Facebook group, which at the time of this episode

has two and a half thousand people in it,

around 30% of people in that group,

30% of the people whose dogs have separation anxiety,

have dogs who are under one year.

Now, fear is really easy to come by.

So there's no reason why dogs who had no predisposition,

so no genetic disposition to a particular fear,

couldn't develop it that quickly, i.e. couldn't get it in under a year.

But 30% is a lot.

Certainly in the past, we didn't think that puppies had separation anxiety.

We didn't think that puppies could get separation anxiety.

We just thought the stuff that went on when puppies were left alone

was normal puppy stuff.

But now we know, we're pretty certain that puppies do get it.

So if puppies get it, where does it come from?

Is it early life experience or is it genes?

Like I said, one day I hope we'll know.

But in the meantime, what do we know for sure about this condition?

Well, there's a fabulous piece of research,

and it's open source so you can look at it,

and I've linked to it in the show notes.

It's a study of studies that was done in 2014.

A study of studies, a really comprehensive piece of research

that takes all of the research on a topic

or a very broad range of research on a topic and pulls it together.

So they kind of do all the hard work for us.

That study of studies concluded that the key factors

that affect the likelihood of separation anxiety

are mixed and inconclusive.

There could be a number of factors that contribute,

but none of them really stood out as being definitive.

So when you read the study, you don't go,

oh, right, so that's why dogs get separation anxiety.

But let me just run through some of the things

and some of the trends that they saw in this study of studies.

So first of all, and I've seen this in the data from my clients

and from the several thousand people who complete the questions

when they joined my group.

Male dogs are more likely to have separation anxiety problems

than female dogs.

Not every study showed this, but more studies than not showed this.

So in the population that I look at,

so my separation anxiety group and my client list,

about 60% of the dogs are male and 40% are female.

So there's a reasonable difference.

And most of the studies that are in this study of studies

seem to show the same thing too.

I think one or two studies showed there was no difference.

Interestingly, I don't think there's a study

which says it's more females than male.

So it seems to be something about males.

We don't know why.

I think that's going to be your question.

We don't know.

Other things that this fantastic study of studies came up with

is that separation from the litter,

so taking a puppy away at a very young age,

could be problematic and could be something

that brings about separation anxiety,

especially in younger dogs.

And in the study, they looked in particular

at dogs who came from pet shops or online.

So these are dogs that would be taken away,

puppies taken away at very young ages,

four or five weeks, something like that,

and then sold online or through pet shops.

So one thing I always say is,

if you don't want to get a puppy with separation anxiety,

definitely avoid online shops and pet shops.

And then another thing kind of linked

to that whole puppyhood factor

is experience outside the home.

We all know how important socialization is,

but it seems to play a part in separation anxiety too.

Though, interestingly, in this study of studies,

they looked at experience outside the home

for puppies aged five to 10 months.

Now, most dog trainers will tell you

that we now look at a socialization period

of up to 12 weeks, and at that point,

we see the socialization window closing.

But what the studies into separation anxiety are showing

is that there's still a period of age

between, say, five to 10 months,

where if we give our dogs comfortable, happy,

non-fearful exposures to the outside world,

and we show them how to be alone

in that time period of five to 10 months,

we're less likely to trigger separation anxiety.

Another factor that they saw was late-age adoption.

So that would be dogs adopted in adulthood.

So not necessarily puppies,

but mature dogs adopted into a new household

later in their lives.

There were some factors around dogs

coming from animal shelters,

or those that were found as strays.

Now, my hypothesis on that is that

people don't always give the reason

why they're surrendering dogs.

And I find that in the shelter that I volunteer at.

We don't always know the full history.

Why is that?

Well, sometimes people don't know,

so they're not being dishonest.

But sometimes, and you can totally understand why,

sometimes people are really uncomfortable

disclosing the full history

because they're worried

that their dog isn't gonna be adopted.

And most people, when they surrender a dog,

their aim is for that dog to be adopted out again.

So if they disclose something like separation anxiety,

which there's a view

that is a very difficult condition to fix,

not true, by the way,

but you can see why some owners

are reluctant to disclose that when they're surrendering.

So does being in a shelter cause separation anxiety,

or did the dog have it before they came in?

Hard to tell if we're not getting full disclosure

on the dog's condition when they enter the shelter.

When I looked at the data

based on the questions that I asked people entering my group,

about 40% of people said

they'd got their dog from a breeder.

So getting your dog from a breeder

isn't even a guarantee

that you're not gonna have a dog with separation anxiety.

A few other things from this fabulous paper,

dogs who live in apartments are a bit more prone.

Now, I wonder, and I postulate,

is that actually because barking dogs

are more likely to be flagged up in apartments?

I think so.

I think that it's much harder

to have a dog who barks all day

if you've got neighbors on every single wall.

And another factor that came out from the studies

is that homes without children,

that's without human children, not without fur babies,

are also at higher risk,

or more likely to have dogs with separation anxiety.

I wonder, is it cause or is it effect?

But in a lot of homes with children,

parents are coming home, picking up kids from school,

they're not necessarily out of the house for 12 hours a day.

So I think that could be a factor there too.

So it's a fascinating piece of research,

and I highly recommend it if you want to dig it out.

Links in the show notes, Sargison, 2014.

And just continuing on with this theme

of the big factors in separation anxiety triggers,

two things we are really quite clear on

that are likely to exacerbate

or bring on separation anxiety for the first time.

The first one is a change in household circumstances.

So that could be changing the family makeup.

It could be even something like losing a pet,

losing another pet.

So maybe you had two dogs in the house and you lost one,

or even a cat, we've seen that too.

So changes in the household circumstances

can be a really big trigger for separation anxiety.

We often see it coming on in that situation

or getting worse if the dog already has it.

And the other one, and this is probably really obvious,

but moving home.

So moving home can have a massive effect

on separation anxiety.

Either making it worse or bringing it on in the first place.

It's really helpful to know that changes in the household

or moving home can affect your dog's separation anxiety

because at least you're prepared for it.

But what are you going to do?

You're not gonna stay in the same house forever.

Although my husband has said to us that we are not moving

because we are not going through separation anxiety again

with Percy.

But what are you gonna do, really?

You're not gonna stay in the same house

or not split up with your partner

just because you're worried

about your dog's separation anxiety.

You might try, but at the end of the day,

stuff is going to happen.

There are some things that weren't covered in the study

in great detail I think really have an impact

on separation anxiety,

because I see it time and time again.

The first falls into kind of a heading of

dog having a really bad experience while he's home alone.

And the classic one there is a thunderstorm.

So the dog is fine up to a point,

then all of a sudden it could be one season

or it could be just a one-off thunderstorm

and your dog really goes into a panic.

Now often that's because the dog is noisephobic anyway

or the noisephobia was triggered

by a particularly bad storm season.

But we often see a dog who was fine at home alone,

all of a sudden starting to freak out

because he started to get frightened or phobic of noise.

So you've now got noisephobia

and this phobia of being alone.

And the other thing that can happen

is your dog can have bad experiences at home

if you're using aversives to control his home alone behavior.

And what do I mean by that?

Usually bark collar.

So a bark collar is a electric shock device

that frightens your dog basically into not barking.

So if you've tried to use one of those at home

and don't worry if you have, don't feel bad.

The manufacturers of these things,

honestly the marketing behind them,

that they just give your dog a static shock.

Oh my goodness.

By the way that's not true.

These things only work because they hurt.

So if like loads of people you've been taken in

by the marketing, don't feel bad

because it's very slick and they are very convincing.

But unfortunately if you use that to control barking,

I don't know, say your dog is a barker at stuff

in the street and you're out all day

and you are getting complaints from the neighbors,

not because your dog's anxious,

but he's just doing his guard doggy stuff.

So you stick a bark collar on him.

Now what's happened is every time you go out,

he has this electric shock device on him

and he hates it, he freaks at it.

Over time, can you see what's gonna happen?

You get ready to go out and he remembers

you only put it on him when you go out.

So he's petrified of you leaving because this thing hurts

and he only has it on him if you leave him home alone.

Dogs learn by association.

So really quickly he's associating being at home with pain.

Bad experiences while home alone can definitely contribute

or trigger separation anxiety.

And one thing I mentioned earlier

about changes in the household,

now we used to think that a second dog

was not the answer to separation anxiety.

And I still think that for the most part.

Why?

Because we see it time and time again,

people get a second dog thinking that it's gonna

fix separation anxiety and it doesn't.

And then sometimes you end up with double the trouble.

But when dogs have lost a companion

and that losing of a companion dog

has triggered their anxiety,

that's when a second dog can be the thing to do.

Getting a second dog is definitely not a fix

for all separation anxiety dogs.

However, we can see anxiety being triggered

when your dog loses a pal.

When all of a sudden they're the only dog at home.

If that's the case,

you may well be a candidate for getting a second dog.

Everybody else just switch off here,

just tune out because what I don't want

is everybody rushing out and getting a second dog

thinking it'll fix separation anxiety.

The vast majority of instances it doesn't.

But if your dog lost a companion dog,

it might be something to think about.

All right, I've talked a lot about

what does cause separation anxiety or what triggers it.

And hopefully I've made you feel better

about the fact that it wasn't you.

So now let's talk a bit more about that.

And let's really dive into

what doesn't cause separation anxiety.

First off, the biggie.

Having your dog sleep on your bed

does not cause separation anxiety.

Have a look at the research.

Again, go back to the paper I've linked in the show notes

because there's a ton of studies in there

that looked at this very issue.

And I think only one,

and that might have been a study of perhaps 20 dogs,

maybe even 12 dogs,

only one suggested there could be a link

between letting your dog sleep on the bed

and separation anxiety.

So honestly, no.

Letting your dog sleep on the bed

is not why he freaks out when you go out of the house.

If you've had a, quote, normal dog who's fine when you go,

you'll know.

You can let them sleep on the bed

and honestly you could walk out of the house

and they probably wouldn't leave the bed

and could stay there for a week

if you fed them and watered them.

So yeah, no, it really isn't the case

that letting your dog sleep on the bed

is why your dog's separation anxiety was triggered.

Another thing that definitely doesn't cause it

is letting them hang out with you when you're at home.

Dogs who follow you around the home, Velcro dogs,

are very common.

And in fact, lots of non-anxious dogs can be Velcro dogs.

If you think about it,

we're the source of all things fun and amazing to dogs.

We make good stuff happen,

like walks and food and treats and toys.

So it's no wonder that dogs are really interested

in what we're doing.

They like to follow us around because you never know,

we might be heading to the cookie jar,

we might be heading to the cupboard where the treats live

or might be getting the toys out.

So Velcro dogs, and the research supports this,

are just as common amongst non-anxious dogs as anxious dogs.

Both non-anxious and anxious dogs can follow their owner.

One of my dogs, Tex, is one of these Velcro dogs.

Not with me, by the way, with my husband.

Why?

Well, Tex is a quarter lab,

but I always joke that when it comes to food,

he's 100% lab and my husband is the feeder.

So Tex knows every move that my husband makes.

He follows him like a hawk

and he will follow him around the house

because you never know,

my husband might be about to produce a food bowl.

And Tex is the least Velcro dog you can imagine

when it comes to leaving.

He's just like, are you going, are you?

Do you leave me any food?

All right, maybe, see you later.

So yeah, don't think that letting them have attention

or hang out with you in the house is a cause for concern.

It's not why your dog's got separation anxiety.

Other things that fall into the doesn't cause it bracket,

rewards-based training.

Now I've heard this from trainers who use punishment,

fear, and force to train dogs,

that all this, I don't even know where this comes from,

soft training is causing problems with dogs.

They don't know boundaries.

I tell you what, rewards-based training

is one of the most powerful way

to establish boundaries with your dog.

We use rewards-based training to teach them

what we don't want them to jump up.

We don't want them to steal things from counters,

knock visitors over.

We want them to be on a mat

when stuff's going on in the house.

We want them to walk nicely on leash.

Rewards-based training is incredibly powerful for that.

It doesn't undermine the concept

of boundaries in dogs at all.

In fact, what it does is it confirms them,

and it confirms them using the most powerful message,

which is food.

So don't buy into that.

Rewards-based training does not cause your dog's anxiety.

Finally, in the what doesn't cause it bucket

is not being alpha does not cause your dog.

Is that a double negative?

Yeah, not being alpha does not cause your dog

to have separation anxiety.

Anyway, what I mean by that is forget the alpha myth.

It's been totally debunked.

Your dog knows 100% who's in charge in your house.

You decide everything in your dog's life.

You even make life or death decisions for your dog.

He knows exactly who's in control.

So you don't need to prove that you're the leader.

You don't need to, quote, dominate him.

Forget all that stuff.

None of that is, A, relevant anyway

to your relationship with your dog,

and B, isn't at all why your dog's got separation anxiety.

So forget alpha, forget leadership nonsense.

It's got nothing to do with your relationship with your dog.

But here are things that can affect separation anxiety,

but luckily they're things you can work on.

So spending all your time with your dog.

One of the unfortunate outcomes of the way we train

for separation anxiety is that you end up spending

way more time with your dog than a normal owner

and a normal dog would spend together.

I hate that term normal, but a dog without anxiety.

A dog without anxiety doesn't spend 24-7 with their owner.

What happens with separation anxiety dogs

is quite often because we can't leave them,

we end up spending a disproportionate amount

of time with them.

So one thing I really like to encourage pet parents to do

is even if you can suspend all absences

and be with your dog the whole time,

think about options like dog sitting and dog walking,

or even just getting a friend around to take your dog out

when she goes to the dog park with her dogs.

I don't want your dog to think that the only good things

that happen in his life are as a result of you.

Do you see what I mean?

I want him to see that good things happen

even when you're not involved.

Otherwise we can create a bit too much of an over-dependence.

Other things that might not help separation anxiety,

not getting a puppy gradually used to being on its own.

It's really important that we do teach puppies

to be okay on their own.

However, what I don't want you to do

if you're thinking about getting another puppy,

what I don't want you to do is just abandon your puppy

in a crate for several hours and let them cry it out.

We used to think that's what you did with puppies,

but now we know not a good idea.

So just gradually, gradually in the time from day one,

from the very first day that you get your puppy,

just show him that being on his own is fine.

And actually sometimes it's amazing

because you leave great things in his crate.

So you'll start with a few minutes of him being alone

and you'll build up very gradually.

It's exactly the same principles

as separation anxiety training.

So just build up really gradually

and get him comfortable on his own alone.

Definitely don't leave him to cry out for hours though.

It's not gonna help him.

And if your dog has any predisposition to being anxious,

there's a good chance you're gonna trigger

full-blown separation anxiety.

Here's a biggie.

So we talked about things

that can affect separation anxiety.

This is the biggest thing,

and that's leaving your dog alone

for longer than he can cope with.

And it's the most controllable thing too.

It's quite encouraging.

Leaving your dog for longer than he can cope with

is something that makes separation anxiety worse

or can bring it on in the first place.

Every time your dog goes into panic and is over threshold,

there's a really good chance that his brain chemistry

is changing and changing for the worse.

So we need to stop that

because it's a big, big trigger

for separation anxiety escalating.

But as I said, I think what's encouraging

is you are in control of that.

I know it doesn't seem like it.

I know it seems impossible

that you feel like you just can't get anybody

to help with your dog.

You're gonna have to leave him.

Not leaving him and making sure he stays under threshold

is the key to getting him over his separation anxiety.

So see it not as a challenge or a hurdle,

but see it as an opportunity

because you are totally in control of his fear.

You can manage his fear.

You can keep it so low that he doesn't have any, in fact.

So see suspending absences as an opportunity,

not as a great big challenge.

In other words, I want you to control what you can control

and stop worrying about all the other stuff

that people tell you is causing anxiety

because frankly, it's not.

Focus on what you can do.

Focus on getting your dog over separation anxiety

because that is within your control.

So we need to stop worrying about

why our dog's got separation anxiety, what might.

Of course, instead of expending valuable brain cells

on trying to work out

why your dog's got separation anxiety,

focus on what we do know and what we know is

that you are totally in control of getting him over it.

That's what you need to focus on.

Remember, you didn't cause separation anxiety,

but you absolutely can be the one to fix it.

So jump into my Facebook group.

The link is subthresholdtraining.com forward slash Facebook.

There you'll find lots of incredibly sympathetic pet parents

all going through what you're going through.

It's a wonderful community

where we all support each other

through this incredibly challenging condition.

And don't forget to download my free cheat sheets

you can find in the group.

Do what you can to suspend absences

because if there's one takeaway from today,

I'd like you to remind yourself,

you didn't cause a separation anxiety,

but you can be the one to fix it.

Chat to me anytime.

You can book a call, subthresholdtraining.com, free call.

All the links I call out today are in the show notes.

Thanks for listening in today

and I look forward to seeing you online soon.

Thanks for listening to the Fixing Separation Anxiety Podcast

with Julie Naismith.

For more information,

visit the website at www.subthresholdtraining.com.

If you haven't yet, go to Apple Podcasts

and subscribe, rate and review this podcast.

Thank you for joining us.

We'll see you again soon.