Is separation anxiety training actually unethical? No. Here's why

Today we're talking about whether separation anxiety training is actually ethical and that

probably seems a really odd question for somebody like me to ask because I spend my entire working

time helping owners and trainers get dogs over separation anxiety. So why on earth am I asking

a question about whether it's ethical or not? Because surely I wouldn't be doing something

if I thought it wasn't. Anyway, I'm going to dive into that today.

Hello and welcome to the Be Right Back separation anxiety podcast. Hi, I'm Julie Naismith,

dog trainer, author, and full-on separation anxiety geek. I've helped thousands of dogs

overcome separation anxiety with my books, my online programs, my trainer certification,

and my separation anxiety training app. And this podcast is all about sharing my

tips and tricks to help you teach your dog how to be happy at home alone too.

Okay, so why did this topic come to me when I spend all my time trying to get owners and

trainers get dogs over separation anxiety? Well, I was hearing stuff about the fact,

people were saying separation anxiety training isn't ethical, it isn't good,

we shouldn't be doing it. We shouldn't be teaching dogs to be alone when most dogs

are social creatures who want to be with us. And spoiler alert, I think we should be doing

separation anxiety training. Yeah, of course I do. And I'm going to tell you why, despite the

number of blog posts that seem to be saying that we shouldn't do it, I'm going to tell you why

it is ethical and how we do it in a way that is totally safe with the dogs. I'm going to explain

why teaching a dog to be home alone is a good thing. It's not something we should be worrying

about. It's something we should be pleased with. We should be pleased with the outcome. If we can

get a dog to be okay on its own, that's a good thing. So don't be put off. If you're a separation

anxiety trainer already, or if you're thinking of becoming one, don't suddenly, if you see one

of these blogs that's going around at the moment, don't suddenly get petrified that you might be in

some way damaging a dog. I'm going to tell you why it's quite the opposite in fact. So the notion

that's out there, and maybe it's out there because of the pandemic, is as I said, we've got a social

creature and what we're doing is getting that social creature, the dog, to be alone. And that

isn't natural. So the social creatures, being alone doesn't come naturally to them. Therefore

training them to accept being alone is getting them to do something they wouldn't otherwise

choose to do and therefore it's unethical. So that's the line of thought, that's the argument.

And there are some bits that I agree with. Should dogs spend an awful lot of time on their own? No,

I don't think they should. But we need to have a slight reality check here. For a start, we do know

that the vast majority of dogs don't love being alone. I'd say all dogs, any dog that's left,

isn't jumping up and down saying this is the absolute best thing ever. It's not like it's

Friday night and your other half goes out or your housemate says that they're going out tonight

because they can now and you've been locked up with them for five months and so you're over the

moon that you get to have some time to yourself. You're on your own, it's amazing. You get to watch

what you want, eat what you want, you can have an early night, you can have a late night, you can

take a long bath, whatever you decide to do it feels blissful doesn't it because you've been

locked up with these people for months. So you're almost jumping up and down when they say they're

going to go out. That isn't our dogs. They are not overjoyed when we go out. No dog ever. Probably

not even dogs who are being abused sadly because we know how much they love us even when people do

bad things to them and the study from John Bradshaw, the study he did, suggested at least

80% of dogs struggle. They do struggle when they go out and it's probably, it's probably even more

than that. So yeah I guess dogs don't love being left but they are being left and that's the world

that we inhabit. That's where we are. It is utopian to expect that dogs will never be left.

So we've got utopia and then we've got reality. I'm not saying that when people get dogs we

shouldn't be counselling them. You know what, if you're going to be out 10 hours a day,

if you're going to be out 10 hours a day, five days a week, maybe this isn't the best time for

you to get a dog or if you do think through the cost of getting a sitter or sending your dog to

daycare, I'm not saying we shouldn't be giving that advice. I don't think any dog should be

left for long periods of time or days on end. No dog, not even the ones who cope perfectly with it.

So we should be advising owners. But however, again back to reality, we have to work with what

we've got. So here are my three reasons why I think this is a flawed argument and why we do

need to still keep training. Okay, so there's three big reasons why I think this is a flawed

argument. First of all, we have to work with what we've got. We aren't living in the utopian

society where everybody can stay at home with dogs. We are working with plenty of owners who

have to go out and who have dogs who cannot be left. That's reality. That's where we are and

those owners and those dogs need our help because what's going to happen? They're going to be left

and they're going to be scared. So reason number one. Reason number two is being with a dog 24-7

doesn't happen. I often hear in my owner networks, I'll often hear people who say work full time or

got very busy social life say, oh, it's all right for them. It's all right for them. They can stay

at home and usually it's retirees or people who work from home. It's all right for them.

They can have a dog with separation anxiety because they can be with their dog 24-7,

but they're not. There's this idea, this notion that there are these unicorn people out there,

unicorn owners who can be with dogs 24-7. No, they can't. They need to go to hospital

appointments. They need to go to dentists. And when I last checked, unless you have a service dog,

those dogs cannot come with you to the dentist and most supermarkets and most grocery stores.

So there aren't these unicorn owners who can have a dog who isn't left 24-7. They don't exist.

They exist in our utopia, but not in reality. They have to go out. Also, even if they could

find a way not to leave those dogs, maybe they could, maybe they get the pets when they go to

the grocery store. There'll be an occasion. There'll be an emergency. There'll be a time

when they cannot make arrangements. And then we've got dogs who cannot cope with being left

and are thrown into a shocking situation because they have never been given the coping skills.

The third reason is if we assume that we are okay with the concept of dogs living with us,

being domesticated, and that's a whole other debate to have, then we need to decide if we're

comfortable with them doing things that go against their nature, because we do that to

dogs all the time. And I'm not talking about force here. I'm not talking about fear or pain

or coercion or using adverses. I'm talking about even when we use gentle methods, we can get dogs

and we do get dogs to do things that they do not naturally want to do. Great examples of that,

having their paws handled. That's just plain weird if you're a dog. Having your paws handled

could mean that your paw, your foot, your leg is going to be injured and that is a death sentence

to a wild dog. We get them to go to the vet and have their bodies handled. Same thing,

a massive threat having their body prodded and poked and having their hands all over them.

And what about petting? What about petting on the head? Have you noticed? I'm sure you have.

How many dogs don't love it? They don't naturally like it. We have to encourage them. It's not

normal. So if we are okay with dogs being in our world, we are going to have to accept that even

with gentle training methods, we will be getting dogs to do things that they don't naturally want

to do. So let's not single out separation, anxiety, home alone training, because there are

many things in a dog's life that the dog doesn't want to do that we get it to do.

And so unless we abolish dog ownership, are we going to do that? Well, again, debate for another

day. But unless we abolish dog ownership, we'll always, always be getting them to do things that

they don't want to do. I'm not saying we make them uncomfortable doing that, but they don't

naturally want to do it. And what matters when we get them to do those things is how we do it,

how we do that training so that we don't use fear and we don't use pain, but we gradually and

gently get dogs to be okay with things that they wouldn't naturally be okay with. And that's what

separation anxiety training is. That's what good separation anxiety training is. It is slow. It

is gentle. It is not coercive. It is not using any type of force. It's actually the ultimate,

in my view, the ultimate in choice training because we're absolutely not using any versus

and we're not using food. So we're not risking some of those really drivy dogs who get in

conflict and they don't want to get close to the dog across the road, but they really like the

sausage, but they don't want to get close to the dog, but they'll take the sausage. And sometimes

we get an inaccurate read on that dog because really it's just getting over its fear of the

dog on the other side of the road only temporarily while it takes the sausage.

But with separation anxiety training, we don't use food, so we're not even using that type of

coercion. And when we do separation anxiety training well, and if we're not doing it well,

don't do it. We mustn't do it. When we do it well, it equips the dog. It equips the dog

with the most important and excellent coping skill, that of being home alone, because we

leave dogs. We do leave dogs. It's a reality. So we're equipping them to cope with something

that, yes, they wouldn't vote for. It's not top of their list, but it's going to happen to them.

When we do separation anxiety training right, when we do it well, we show a dog that being home alone,

as much as they're not voting for it, it's not scary. It's not threatening. It's not

life endangering. And that's what matters. Will a dog ever love being left alone? I doubt it.

I doubt it. But the most important thing is we can teach them that it's okay. We can give them

those coping skills. We can stop it from panicking. And that's our goal. So until that day,

when dog ownership is banned, we need to keep doing this. We need to keep doing what we're doing

to give those dogs the skills they need to live in this crazy world that isn't of their choosing.

We need to teach them home alone is safe. And if we do that, and if we encourage owners

to minimize alone time, not just for anxious dogs, but for all dogs,

we are putting the welfare of our domesticated dogs first. Oh, could you tell I was bashing

about that? I'd love to know what you think. Do you think I'm crazy? Do you think I'm crazy

for even raising the topic? Isn't it obvious that what we're doing is a good thing? Or do

you have reservations? Do you sometimes think, Oh, I'm not sure. Is this the right thing to do?

Are we forcing dogs to do something they don't want to do? I'll be back next week with another

topic maybe not as controversial. I hope to see you then. Thanks for joining me today.

I look forward to seeing you on the next one. Thank you so much for listening to this episode

of the Be Right Back separation anxiety podcast. If you want to find out more about how I can help

you further, head over to julienasmith.com. Meanwhile, if you enjoyed listening today,

I would love it if you would head over to wherever you listen to your podcast

and consider rating my show. Thanks so much. Good luck with that training and bye for now.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai