Navigating Your Dog's Separation Anxiety Through the Holiday Season

I'm diving in today to talk to you about the most common questions that I get asked every

single year about separation anxiety at this time of year, how's it going to affect my

dog, how's he going to respond, how's she going to be if we don't train, how's she going

to be if we train in a different place.

So we've got all those questions covered for you.

Alright so let's start by talking about the questions that I get asked every year at this

time of year about separation anxiety and your dog.

So let me go in and we will tackle the first big question.

Generally, this comes up every December, is this whole crazy time of year going to affect

my dog's separation anxiety?

Well this is a really big and broad question but it does get asked an awful lot.

And here's what I can say to you, is having seen so many dogs over so many years, I can

tell you that there definitely can be things that can affect, possibly even make your dog

seem clingier over the holidays, that's for sure.

Let's talk about what those things could be and I don't want to worry you, I just want

to prepare you.

Okay, so will the holidays affect my dog's separation anxiety?

Well there are, the things that can affect a dog's separation anxiety generally can include

things like routine changes, people being around for different times, different changes

in the pattern in the household.

So when we look at what's going to go on in the next few weeks for many of you, you're

immediately probably thinking, oh yeah, all of that, yeah, all of that.

You know, you may be taking extra time off work, you may have visitors, you may have

more people coming and going, the kids might be off school and so on.

So anything like that can definitely start to affect your dog's separation anxiety because

they just go, oh this is different, right?

But don't worry, that's okay, we've got that covered.

So what can you do about that?

Well first of all, I'm just going to say don't worry, enjoy the next few weeks, the next

couple of weeks.

If you have got, you know, a very big shift in your routine, then we'll deal with it,

I'm going to come on to in a second what you're going to do in January, you know, if things

are a bit different.

So definite changes in routine, people coming and going, you spending more time with your

dog, those things can make your dog seem a little bit clingier when you go back to normality.

But it's only a possibility, so don't freak out too much, it might not be an inevitability.

All right, question two, should I pause my separation anxiety training?

Because routines are different, people are around more or less or just in a different

way.

Well, I would say don't immediately assume that you should pause your separation anxiety

training.

I mean, standing back a second and not being the separation anxiety trainer, I'm sort of

inclined to say as well, make the most of the next couple of weeks because maybe it's

just time to have fun with friends and family and not stress about your dog's separation

anxiety.

So I don't think you should necessarily be going crazy with separation anxiety training,

but equally, you don't have to completely take your foot off the gas.

You can look for ways to fit the separation anxiety training into the next couple of weeks

despite them being crazy.

And this is really your preference.

I think it can help to keep things going, but equally, if you just feel like, I'm just

so ready for a break, then I would not be judging you for doing that.

If you're thinking, no, I don't want to pause the separation anxiety training, I just want

to make sure that I keep it going, then maybe what you're going to do is instead of training

the four or five times a week that you're currently training, maybe what you're going

to do now is train maybe two to three times a week, or maybe even once a week.

So we're at the middle of December now, maybe your goal is you're just going to train twice

or three times before the end of the month.

Maybe that's all you're going to do.

But if you say, no, I am so done, I need to completely take a break, I would understand.

But don't think that you have to.

Don't think that just because routines are changing, people are coming and going in different

patterns means you have to pause the training.

Those of you who use my Be Right Back training app, this is a really good situation to set

up a different scenario.

Because we might expect that training could be different, what I would suggest is that

you have a holidays or a Christmas or some other scenario that you set up in your app,

just to accommodate for the fact that the training might be a little bit different.

Next question, should you train when you're away?

I know many of you do travel and take your dog with you.

You're staying at relatives' houses, you're staying with friends, maybe you're even on

vacation or on a trip away.

And so should you train when you're away?

This one I've got a stronger viewpoint on than should you pause your training entirely.

I think pausing your training, that's kind of going to be up to you whether it works

for you in the next couple of weeks.

But should you train when you're away?

For most people, I'm going to say no here.

The reason being that confidence and fear in dogs are both very, very context specific.

So what do we mean by that?

Well they're very much affected, your dog is very much affected by its environment.

And location in particular is a really big context cue, what we call a context cue for

dogs.

And so if you go somewhere else, and maybe it's somewhere you only go to once a month,

not even once a month, maybe once a year or maybe two or three times a year, you've got

to remember that your dog is currently learning to be alone.

If you're doing separation anxiety training, your dog is currently learning to be alone

in their current location.

And so when you go somewhere else, the learning, it doesn't necessarily start again from scratch

because your dog has learned to learn, it kind of knows what this crazy thing is you're

doing when you come and go.

But the new location is a game changer.

And it can mean, sometimes can mean that your dog might just not pick things up.

Now, it's still, it's always worth doing training if you've got the energy for it, but you've

got to then remember that your dog might find it much harder, and that when you come

back home, some of that training or most of that training won't translate into progress

back home.

So that's a biggie, right?

That's a big thing to factor in.

Now here's some exceptions.

The exceptions are, if it's somewhere you go regularly and go frequently, if it's somewhere

you go once a year, every year, I still wouldn't think it's worth your while.

But if it's somewhere you go every couple of months, you're going to keep going there

regularly.

That's, you know, it's a, it's just a fixture on your fixture on your calendar that you

go to your relatives, your parents, your sisters, your whatever.

You go there regularly, then you're starting to think, yeah, that maybe is worth the while.

It's worth investing the time because we want to be able to leave our dog in this location

and we go there often.

So that's when I say it's worth training when you're away.

Now if you want to keep the training going, but you've been listening to me going, well,

Julie said don't do the training when I'm away and we don't go there very often.

But I feel the need, I feel the need to do some training.

Two things can work really well for you when you're traveling.

One is door is a bore because it never harms to teach a dog that the door is boring.

It's never a waste of time.

So it can be a completely different door to your door at home, but it's still worth doing.

All right.

So you can always train when you're away.

You can always do that training, sorry, when you're away.

Door is a bore.

And the other one is magic mat.

Magic mat is brilliant for any location because magic mat is about the mat.

Magic mat is about teaching your dog that it's really rewarding to be some distance

from you.

And actually magic mat is lovely for when you're traveling and you're staying in strange

locations or you're staying with friends and family and you just want your dog to have

a really nice settle.

So settling on the mat in a different place, you know, definitely training that's worth

considering.

So that's a training I would suggest you do if you're going somewhere that you don't go

very often.

Okay.

The next question that comes up all the time.

What should I expect from my dog if we do take a break from training?

Okay.

So you've done the pros and cons.

You've worked out whether training in the holiday season is worth it for you.

And you've decided that no, from about this weekend until January, you're going to take

a break.

What should you expect from your dog?

How will your dog respond to separation anxiety training when you get back?

Well, we don't know.

We honestly don't know.

Some dogs surprise us and it's as if we hadn't taken the break.

In fact, they welcome the break.

Some dogs though, do seem to do better with separation anxiety training if they just keep

in the groove.

So if when you get back and it's that first week in January and you're determined to get

back into separation anxiety training, which I hope you are, then just lower your expectations.

Okay.

So if your dog is going to do just as well as when you left off, brilliant.

You've lowered your expectations and your dog's exceeded your expectations.

Fantastic.

And if you lower your expectations and your dog kind of meets you there, well then fine.

It's what you expected.

You expected your dog not to do as well.

So what do we mean by, what do I mean by lowering your expectations?

I mean that when you're working to a certain target duration with your training, just think

about making the target duration much shorter when you get back.

If you're on very short target durations anyway, then go for something like door is

a bore.

Okay.

So whatever you're doing when you get back, just make it that much easier for your dog.

Make the target duration shorter or work on something like door is a bore.

Okay.

So final question.

There's no point starting training in the middle of December.

Is there?

Well, I don't know about you, but I'm not a huge fan of coming back from a break in

January facing all the things, maybe the difficult things that I kicked into the new year and

bracing myself to do all those challenging things.

You know, I've had a nice break.

It's been lovely.

And now I've got a long list of all the things I said I was going to do.

Now don't get me wrong.

You can feel really motivated in January and watch this space for some things that

I'm going to be sharing with you in January to help keep you motivated or make the most

of the fact that many of us come back in January go, yes, I'm ready for this.

But it also means you can have a lot on your to-do list.

And I get it.

You may be overwhelmed with getting groceries and wrapping presents and going to your niece's

nativity and going to the carol service or just meeting up with friends, whatever it

might be.

I get that all of that can be going on in the next two weeks.

So you may have like zero bandwidth.

But what if you did?

What if you did have some bandwidth?

What if actually because you're not at work as much, you know, especially those weird

days, was it Twixmas between Christmas Day and New Year?

What if you made the most of that time and started your New Year's resolution earlier

than January?

You will feel amazing.

You will feel amazing when you get to January.

If you've started some stuff then, in fact, the reason I'm saying this to you is because

I had something like this on my list that I was going to work on in January.

And I just thought, no, I have got a little bit of time now, maybe not in the next couple

of weeks, but I'm going to start it and I'm feeling great because I've already started

on one of my New Year's resolutions.

Get me, get me.

But it did make me feel motivated.

And I think I'll feel more motivated about that goal when I get back in January because

it's not looming over me.

I've started it.

And the research tells us that the biggest block to making progress on a goal is just

starting and taking the first step.

So when we take that first step, it's a game changer.

And of course there's somebody at the door because it's that time of year.

All right.

So those are my top tips for you to get you through the next few weeks.

And meanwhile, have a wonderful break and I look forward to catching up with you in

January.

We're going to be busy.

We're going to be working on the drug separation anxiety because I'm so hopeful for you in

2024.

So watch this space for lots of motivating tips and tricks to get you started when we

get going again in January.

Meanwhile, enjoy the rest of your month and I will see you all soon.

Bye for now.