5 Big Separation Anxiety Lockdown Myths

Welcome to the Fixing Separation Anxiety podcast, where it's all about healing your dog, regaining

your freedom and getting your life back on track.

And now, here's your host, Julie May Smith.

Right, let's bust some myths this week.

I'm reading a ton of stuff.

I'm hearing loads of things about dogs and lockdown and easing out of lockdown and what's

going to happen to our dogs, but a lot of it isn't entirely, let's say, accurate.

So in this episode, I'm going to bust five separation anxiety lockdown myths.

Myth number one, all dogs will melt down when we come out of lockdown.

This just isn't true.

So if you're in a panic, if you're worried that it's inevitable that your dog is going

to freak out as soon as you try and do anything, anything near normal, then don't believe the

hype on this.

The thing is, some dogs are really going to struggle.

There is no doubt, but not every single dog.

I think there are some similarities to January and to September when I get a lot of calls

from people who say, oh, I don't know what's happened back in July or back in December,

depending on when they're calling me.

My dog was fine and, you know, we've all been together as a family for the last few weeks

and all of a sudden he just cannot bear us not being around.

I tried to go back to work today and he just freaked out.

So it is really common to see dogs responding to a change in the family setup, a change

in our routines in this way.

The dogs that are going to be hit hardest, without a doubt, are the ones that we already

know to have separation anxiety.

So that might be your dog.

Maybe before lockdown, you were working on separation anxiety training.

Maybe you were gradually getting your dog used to being home alone and then boom, you're

with your dog 24-7.

So I am worried about those dogs.

I'm worried about your dog, if that's your dog.

There is a good chance they will completely forget anything they learned before we went

into lockdown.

Although the good news is when I say completely forget, what will happen is it will seem like

your dog's completely forgotten.

But when you get back into the training, it's amazing how quickly that learning comes back.

So we've got those guys.

We've got the ones who were definite separation anxiety cases before lockdown.

Then we've got dogs who, and I see this in January and I see it in September, dogs who

seem to be perfectly fine before we spent a lot of time with them, but then for whatever

reason really cannot handle alone time.

So they're fine.

We spend a long time with them.

They're no longer fine.

This might be your dog.

So maybe your dog didn't seem like it had separation anxiety before lockdown, but maybe

now it seems like your dog might be freaking out, following you around, being really Velcro.

What can happen is that it might be your dog kind of maybe had separation anxiety, but

it wasn't obvious, or your dog was one of those dogs that was just going to get separation

anxiety anyway and needed a trigger.

So with these dogs, what can happen is the contrast is so huge.

The novelty of being left is so, so massive.

It's so different to what they get used to, but that can trigger their anxiety.

So it might seem like your dog was perfectly fine and now it's lockdown that's ruined everything.

But more likely than not, if your dog starts to freak out when you go back to work, even

though it never freaked out before, chances are it was a dog who was going to get separation

anxiety anyway, and it just needed a trigger.

Then there are a bunch of dogs who will be fine, they just will be.

And if this is your dog, if you're already seeing that your dog doesn't give a hoot,

whether you're around or not, doesn't seem to be making any difference that you're around

24 seven, you can stop the podcast now because I think you're going to be fine.

No, but seriously, there's still things that you might want to do to prevent, to kind of

make sure that even if you've got one of those dogs, you are absolutely certain sure that

it's not going to have a meltdown when you get back to work.

Okay, so that's myth number one.

All dogs will definitely not go into meltdown, even though some dogs might.

Then myth number two, I don't need to send my dog to daycare, so I'm going to save my

money.

Well, this might not apply to you because you might be in a part of the world where

there are no daycares and no dog walkers, so you don't have this decision.

If you're working from home and your daycare is still open, you might think, oh yeah, you

know, why would I don't need my dog to go to daycare?

Obviously because I'm home, so I will just save the pennies.

Why wouldn't I?

You kind of do still need to send your dog to daycare though, if you can.

Here's why.

I don't want the contrast between now, lockdown, 24 seven time with you and when you go back

to work.

I don't want that contrast to be massive.

Daycare will help your dog stick to some kind of normal routine.

Now I'm not suggesting five days a week, even just one day a week will be enough.

It's going to be good for your dog to remind your dog that there's more to your dog's world

than just being with you.

And of course daycare is great for the ones who love it.

Great for their socialization, if they can socialize with other dogs while they're there

and great for their little brains to be experiencing different things.

Being in the home seven days a week, yeah, you know what, can get a bit stale for all

of us, right?

Who isn't feeling that right now?

So although it will save you money, and I do understand that that's a really important

thing right now because who knows what's going to happen in the future and many of us are

suffering from reduced income.

If you can find enough cash just to send your dog once a week, that's going to really help

your dog to remember that there is a world outside of your house.

Also I want your daycare to be there for you when you need them again.

So if you can help them out even with just one day a week, that is going to be so fabulous.

Okay, myth number three, I can't do any training when I'm home alone.

So I may as well just wait.

Big myth.

You can do training.

You can do training which says to your dog that you go and you come back, that it can

survive without you.

If you can stand outside your front door, you can do full blown home alone training.

You can do full separation anxiety training.

All you need to be able to do is stand outside your front door.

Obviously for some of you, that isn't an option.

You live in a condo block or an apartment or flat and you can't stand in the corridor

because of physical distancing.

So yes, that's going to be almost impossible for you.

However, even in that case, there are things that you can do around the house.

You can teach your dog, for example, that the door means nothing.

The door is such a massive trigger to dogs when we're training for home alone happiness

that when the door is involved, opening the door, stepping out of the door, even just

touching the door handle, that can be enough to trigger a dog even before we've started

a training exercise.

It's really helpful to teach both anxious dogs and frustrated dogs and maybe bored dogs

that really the door, yeah, it's just nothing to them.

So I've linked to a handout in the show notes that you can use to play the door is a bore

game with your dog.

Even if you cannot stand outside your front door, you can still do training that will

help your home alone training when you get back to it fully.

Myth number four, my dog didn't have separation anxiety before the lockdown.

So I'm sure this clinginess will pass.

Well, this is kind of linked to myth number one.

You might think that nothing has changed for your dog.

You might think that your dog seems just the same, didn't have separation anxiety beforehand.

Your dog isn't following you everywhere around the house, so you're going to be fine, right?

Well, maybe, but maybe not.

I said in myth number one that most dogs will be fine, but there will be some dogs who,

even though they seemed fine before lockdown, will take us by surprise when we return to

doing normal activities.

So I recommend that everybody, everybody does a little bit of home alone training.

Just remind your dog that you go and you come back.

So for example, if you're doing one grocery trip a week, one trip to the supermarket or

the grocery store, try and, if you've got a dog who was fine before you left, try all

of you going so that your dog doesn't lose that ability to be alone.

You know, learning with dogs is just like learning with us.

We can forget.

And sometimes being home alone, that ability to be home alone, it's a bit like a muscle.

If we don't use it, if the dog's not practicing being home alone, they can lose it, just

like we can lose a muscle when we don't train.

So, practice really small things.

Everybody going.

Do some stuff in the house like the door is a ball.

If your dog is an upset dog and can't cope with home alone time, don't all go to the

grocery store.

This is for dogs who were fine before lockdown, who seem fine now, and you just want to make

sure that it doesn't forget how to be home alone, that it still flexes that home alone

muscle.

Finally, myth number five.

It's a good idea to close doors on dogs to teach them to be apart from us.

Well, yeah, sometimes.

Sometimes this is absolutely fine.

If you've got a dog who's never freaked at being separate from you, if you've got a dog

who really couldn't care less where you are during the day or where you are when you're

in the house with them, this could be fine.

But if you've got a dog who does struggle with separation, do not close doors on them.

It's a myth.

It's an old training myth and it doesn't work.

In fact, what can happen is you can make the anxiety worse.

Why?

Because you're not doing it in gradual tiny increments, which is what we need to do with

alone time training.

We don't just go all or nothing.

But to remember that with some anxious dogs, even just closing a door on that dog can cause

them to freak.

And when a dog freaks and gets really upset and really anxious and goes over their anxiety

threshold, we can actually make their panic worse.

If you want to do this exercise, then I've linked to a video which explains how you can

do it gently and carefully.

And it's a really nice exercise to do with any dog while you're home with them.

But you don't just go all or nothing.

You do it gradually.

You build up just like any training that we do with a dog who isn't comfortable being

separate from you.

So I hope you'll find a tip for you in this episode.

Whether your dog is one of those dogs that seems perfectly fine, whether you've got a

dog who you're worried might be developing separation anxiety, or whether you've got

a dog who you know had separation anxiety, still has separation anxiety, and boy, are

you worried about returning to normality.

The key thing is just do what you can.

I'm a big fan of little and often and being practical, fitting training around our lives.

That way, we're more likely to do it.

And that way, we're more likely to keep our dog in the home alone game.

All right, that's it from me for this week.

Good luck if you are gradually moving out of lockdown, really hope that goes well.

And if you've liked this podcast and found it helpful, I would be so grateful if you

could head over to iTunes or Spotify or wherever you listen and leave me a review.

Thank you so much and I'll catch you on the next episode.